The Night of a Thousand Crazies
by GlassSuicune
Summary: Going to a Halloween party can be crazier then you might think... Well, Wolverine, Magneto, and Company are about to figure it out... I'm aware this is so late... Forgive me.


The Night of a Thousand Crazies by GlassSuicune

Note: X-Men belongs to Marvel. I do not own any other trademarks contained herein. I do own Bernie the St. Bernard. The 'Oh sweet pineapples' phrase and its 'sugary' variation belong to me as well. I'm aware I'm late.

"How long has Wolverine been in the costume closet?" Jean asked. "Quite awhile." Scott answered. Wolverine suddenly came out dressed as Luigi from 'Mario'. "Does this work?" he asked, before noticing Scott's costume, "You're kidding, right?"

"No I am not," Scott replied, "I am going as a cinnamon roll." Wolverine then decided his costume was appropriate and said nothing else. He looked at Jean, who for whatever reason was dressed as Princess Leia from 'Star Wars'. "Logan, I think you and I look like we're going to a comic convention." Jean blurted out.

"I wonder what Storm's going to be?" Scott thought aloud. "Knowing her it'll be ridiculous but memorable." Wolverine answered. All of a sudden, the door was kicked open and Storm came in, dressed as a cowgirl. Bernie was by her side, dressed as a horse, apparently. He had a look on his face that said, 'Save me from this crazy woman!' Poor puppy...

"You ready to rock?!" Storm cried, before running in a complete circle around everyone for no reason and then leaving the room. Wolverine looked at Scott and Jean, shrugged, and followed the crazy mutant. They grabbed their bags and followed as well.

Where are they going you ask? To a Halloween party for mutants. I don't think they'll make it.

"Oh! To a party we will go! To a party we will go! Hi-ho-a-jerrio! To a party we will go!" Storm sang in a very shrill voice. Wolverine, Jean, and Scott covered their ears and winced. Bernie whined, obviously trying to tell his mistress to shut up. The group stopped all of a sudden when they encountered four people they were not expecting to see...

"Magneto?! What are you and your group doing?!" Jean shrieked. "Oh, just walking around and scaring little kids..." Magneto answered slowly, before screaming, "WHAT IN BANANAVILLE DO YOU THINK WE'RE DOING?!" Jean stood there staring blankly until Mystique ( who was dressed as a gypsy for whatever reason) walked up and said, "We're going to the party like everyone else!"

"Magneto, what's with your costume?" Wolverine asked, "A fast-food cashier? Really?" Magneto glared at him and then shouted desperately, "Oh come on! You get to take people's orders! And give them change! It's EXCITING!!!" Wolverine looked at him like he was crazy, then he remembered Scott's costume.

"Is that Kitty?" Toad ( who was dressed a scuba diver) asked, looking at Scott's costume. Everyone looked and saw Kitty ( who was dressed as a black cat) holding onto the cinnamon roll costume and sinking her teeth into it. Scott noticed this and then ran around screaming his head off, trying to shake Kitty off.

Pyro ( who was dressed a fire fighter) walked up and cried, "Run Cyclops! RUN!" Kitty suddenly let go and ran off, hissing at everyone. Scott then fell down on his back and let out a sigh of relief. "Well, why don't we walk there together?" Jean suggested, "Let's just put aside our differences for awhile." The Brotherhood goons shrugged, as if to say, "Fine."

"Well then, let's a-go!" Wolverine cried, trying to perform an Italian accent. Storm looked at him and laughed, "You sound like Mario instead of Luigi!" Right as they were about to start walking, a bunch of kids dressed as pirates and with Jack-o-lanterns on their heads surrounded the mutants. "Arr! We be the Pumpkin Pirates!" the captain cried, "And this be our territory! Are ye after our buried treasure?!"

"What?! No way!" Scott cried, "We're just passing through!" The Pumpkin Pirates jumped in surprise. "The cinnamon roll -it speaks!" cried the first mate. Scott's left eye twitched in annoyance. Magneto looked like he was about to burst out in laughter any second. Jean sighed and said to Scott, "I told you this was a bad idea..."

After the Pumpkin Pirates regained their composure, they pulled their plastic swords out and pointed them at the mutants. "Arr! Say what ye will, land lubbers, but we know ye be lyin'!" cried the captain. Right as they were about to attack, Magneto pulled a spatula out of his bag. "Nobody move! I've got a spatula and I have no idea how to use it!" he yelled. The Pumpkin Pirates screamed and fled the scene.

"Oh sugary sweet pineapples!" Magneto cried, "It worked!" Mystique looked at him and said sarcastically, "My hero..." He just looked at her quizzically. "Well, let's continue on our expedition!" Storm cried, leading the way. Somehow, she led them through the entire United States of America in three hours and don't bother asking me how that's possible.

"That's enough!" Mystique cried, grabbing Storm and pulling her from the front, "Someone else should lead!" Pyro raised his hand, but Toad immediately sprayed him with a fire extinguisher. Wolverine suddenly stepped forward. "I can get us to the party." he said. Magneto muttered, "Mommy," under his breath.

After some careful consideration, Wolverine decided on a route. "Why don't we cut through that lovely meadow?" he suggested, pointing to a meadow filled with thorny vines and other not-so-nice things. Everyone else looked at him like he was crazy, but didn't argue. After all, no one argues with the Wolverine.

"Ow! My spine!!" Magneto screamed, as he got tangled in a thorn covered vine, "PUT IT BACK!!!" Mystique sighed and pulled out a weed-whacker, walking towards him rather menacingly as she turned it on. "Hold still." she ordered, making the old mutant's eyes widen in horror.

"Wait! No! Please! AGHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"Oh shut up you big baby."

Ignoring Magneto's desperate cries for help, Storm approached a Venus fly-trap. "Hi." she said simply, holding out her hand to shake. The Venus fly-trap responded by swallowing her up. Bernie face-palmed in the way only a dog could. Thunder could be heard and the Venus fly-trap was suddenly electrocuted, and Storm walked out. She looked at the plant and said, "Meanie."

"Do you think I could burn the vines?" Pyro asked, as Magneto could still be heard screaming for mercy while Mystique was telling him to shut up. "You'll probably burn us all." Toad answered, "Besides, you're dressed up as fire fighter for Pete's sake." Pyro looked disheartened, but understood Toad's words of wisdom.

Jean and Scott glared at Wolverine. "Lovely meadow my foot." Jean said bluntly. "Okay okay, I admit it, I picked a not-so-lovely meadow to pass through." Wolverine replied. He then looked at Magneto and Mystique, the former screaming like a little girl. While Wolverine found the whole scene hilarious, he said, "Mystique, will you stop slicing Maggie?"

"I. Haven't. Even. Touched. Him." Mystique said slowly, continuing to cut the vines. It was true, as the only harm done to Magneto was caused by the vines. Once all the vines were cut and the Master of Magnetism was freed, he promptly bolted right through the open passageway, screaming to high Heaven. Mystique followed him, muttering something about wishing she had a higher quality partner.

"Well, let's a-go!" Wolverine cried, still sounding like Mario. He ran off and Jean whispered to Scott, "It would've been better if Darth Vader had conquered the galaxy..." As they walked, they came across a man with no head, holding a flaming Jack-o-lantern in his hand, and riding a horse. Can any of you guess who this wonderful dude is?

"It's the Headless Horseman..." Magneto whimpered, before screaming, "THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN!!!" Everyone screamed and bolted in random directions, and through some freak of nature, the Headless Horseman burst into many different Headless Horsemen and gave chase. I dunno 'bout you, but I have this feeling in my gut something's gonna go wrong.

Wolverine, Storm, and Bernie jumped onto an actual race car from 'Mario Kart Double Dash!!' and promptly started driving. Wolverine went to the back of the car, saw the Headless Horseman clone thingamajig, and screamed to Storm, "Quick! I NEED AMMO!" Storm heard his cry and ran into a box to obtain an item. After a couple seconds, she threw three Red Koopa Shells to Wolverine.

"Eat turtle shell freak!" Wolverine cried, throwing the shells rapidly and knocking out that particular Headless Horseman. Storm then drove by Magneto and Mystique, who were busy trying not get run over by the Headless Horseman after them. Wolverine and Bernie then grabbed the two and hoisted them up onto the car.

Scott weakened his visor and shot out a blast at the Headless Horseman after him and Jean. It burst into confetti and both mutants screamed. Now Pyro and Toad were a very different story: Pyro climbed up a tree only to be pulled down by Toad. The frog-like mutant then proceeded to jump up into the tree, only to be set on fire by Pyro.

Storm drove into another item box and obtained ( glory be!) a Spiked Koopa Shell. She threw it to Wolverine and he cried, "Oh yeah! KOOPA!!!!" Magneto and Mystique looked at him. "Logan, you actually sounded like Luigi!" Magneto cried.

"Oh yeah! Who's Number One _now?_"

"Now don't let it get to your head for Pete's sake..."

Wolverine started laughing like a maniac and threw the shell, as Storm put the pedal to the metal to make the car go even faster. The shell traveled throughout the field -and promptly hit the Headless Horseman after Pyro and Toad, ending in such a glorious explosion of blue. Magneto and Mystique started laughing like crazy as their team-mates went blasting off like Team Rocket from 'Pokemon'.

The Headless Horseman pursuing the Mario Karters ended up caught in the explosion and burst into confetti like the other ones -only this one revealed...

"GLASS THE SUICUNE?!" Magneto and Mystique screamed. Glass started laughing and rubbing her hands together. She looked at all the dumb struck mutants and cried, "That was totally wicked! We should do that again!" With that, she happily skipped off, all-the-while dressed as Bat-Girl.

Screaming was heard and Pyro and Toad promptly landed on poor Magneto. "My back..." the old mutant whimpered. After a brief moment of silence, everyone pulled themselves together and continued the dangerous journey to the party. They passed by a couple houses and unintentionally got tricks-or-treats from each one.

"Hey, I got some Kit-Kat bars!" Jean cried in excitement. Scott stared at a package of cinnamon rolls with a disgusted look on his face. "People are so sick... so sick..." he groaned. Toad cried in absolute happiness, "I got Gummy Worms!" Wolverine looked at the spaghetti and meatballs frozen dinner he had received. "Not funny." he said bluntly.

"I got some bubble gum." Mystique said bluntly, obviously not impressed with everyone's excitement over something so trivial. "I got a box of Hot Tamales!" Pyro cried, tears of joy streaming down his face. Storm pulled out what she had obtained and cried, "I got some Milk Duds!" Bernie was too busy gnawing on the raw-hide he had received to make any comment.

Everyone looked at Magneto expectantly. He reached into his bag and his eyes were filled with amazement, "I got... Three wagon wheels?" Everyone looked at this in absolute awe. Magneto allowed a wry grin to creep upon his face and he said, "At least it's not a bunch of rocks. Poor Charlie Brown..."

"FOOD!!!" the screams of a bunch of kids were heard. Everyone looked at Scott as if to say, "Run you fool! RUN!" Scott got the message and ran for the hills, as all the kids pursued him with reckless abandon. Jean face-palmed, "I told him not to go as a cinnamon roll, but did he listen? Nooooooooo..."

"I could watch this all night." Mystique said, smiling for the first time on this historic journey. Scott could be heard screaming for help as the kids gained on him. "Isn't the party being held in this neighborhood?" Jean asked. "Yes it is," Wolverine answered, "Let's retrieve our sugary friend and get there ASAP."

The mutants all walked to the house the party was at ( as that's where Scott was headed) and waited. "Wait a minute, how are we supposed to rescue him?" Toad asked. Everyone else soon realized they didn't have a plan. Scott was suddenly running down the street in front of them, screaming his head off. Right as it looked like the kids would catch him, a long arm suddenly grabbed him and pulled him into the house. The kids didn't notice and continued running down the street.

After that unusual scene, our heroes walked up to the door and knocked. Gambit suddenly answered while dressed as Mario. "Hello and welcome to Party City!" he cried, then he noticed Wolverine's costume, "Awesome costume!" He and Wolverine high-fived and started singing the theme song to 'The Super Mario Brothers Super Show' as everyone else walked in.

Jean looked around for Scott and found him talking with the Fantastic Four ( who were dressed as MegaMan Starforce characters). "Thanks a lot, you saved me." Scott said to Reed, who was dressed as MegaMan. "No problem." was the reply. Susan ( who was dressed as HarpNote) noticed Jean and cried, "Hi!" Jean smiled and then screamed as the Invisible Woman knocked her over while hugging her.

"Why did I have to be Taurus Fire again?" Ben asked. "Well, you're big enough for it." Johnny ( who was dressed as Jack Corvus) answered.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!"

"Oops..."

Johnny then ran off screaming as Ben chased him. "Mommy! Mommy!" the Human Torch cried. They passed by Magneto, who was looking around for someone. "Ah, hello Erik," someone said, "I'm surprised you came." Magneto looked and saw Xavier rolling up to him, dressed as Captain Picard from 'Star Trek'.

Gambit and Wolverine finally came into the house, doing 'The Mario'. Storm suddenly knocked them over and screamed, "Happy Halloween peoples!"

Note: ...And that's the end of the story. I would've had it up sooner, but I had some technical difficulties. Anyways, review please? I wanna know if this was worth all the effort it took. And yes, 'The Super Mario Brothers Super Show' reference was in memory of Captain Lou Albano.


End file.
